Ego, Respect and Fear.

  Hy, my friends. How many of you, live your life by your ego? For me, the ego is nothing more than a weapon. As any kind of weapon, it is very dangerous for me and for everybody else. Ego is the thing that makes us want to be above others. And when you get above others, you think you are the best and everybody else should consider you superior to them.It's like a drug. I became aware of my ego when I was 15-16 years old. I spent my childhood in a rough neighborhood where most of the boys and girls of my age, and even adults, respected you for only one thing: FEAR. The more they feared you, the more they respected you. If you were not a threat to them they would hurt you any way possible; this way they gained more respect.  I kind of adapted to this way of life but when I grew older it started to 'taste good'. Ego infiltrated in my veins. I started to 'gain respect', do bad things, make 'naughty friends', gypsy friends who had just got out of jail etc. I was king of the neighborhood, girls' favorite. That was the time I understood the 'human mechanics'. I don't want to remember the things I was doing those days. :(  . But ego came in and wanted more, I wanted to be 'the boss' of the neighborhood. The most feared. But it was too much to me and I was close to death. Then, after my 'defeat', all my 'friends' became my enemies, girls shifted to my enemies, and I was really, really down. A lot of things happened but it would be too much to write. Anyway, that was the moment I realized what I had become: a 'monster', because of the fact that ego conquered me. Indirectly, I was saved by few persons who mean everything to me. I actually owe them my life, because they convinced me (indirectly, because I've never told anyone what I've been through) by the power of example, that you can be good and successful at the same time, it's just that you have to think positive and live a 'positive-energy-life'. The Universe showed me that a sincere 'thank you' from the heart means more than being king of the neighborhood. But the roots of the 'bad boy' are still there, deep in my soul, the 'allure of the game' causes unrest to my heart. It's one of the reasons I want to join the law enforcement.